bravo

This is a face I could keep looking at (unlike the pictures from the previous post).

Thank goodness for real life heroes. It gives me pause to think of how likely I would have been to initiate help.

little resolve

I never follow through on New Year resolutions because, well, I'm not sure why. I am good at making firm decisions to not make goals. WAIT. Don't stop reading yet, as I have no desire to talk any more about resolutions. Take a look at this


Channel surfing reminded me again of the horror that is women body building. TLC has shown numerous times the "Supersize She" show. It is all about a woman's pursuit to look and sound horrific. I don't mean to be cruel but I cannot grasp the desire to look like this:

Their heads look so small and they look so manly. I'm not just a woman hater because this frightens me just as much. Please use weights in moderation, avoid steroids and tanning, and go easy on the body oil. It will create a much more visibly friendly world.

a very merry christmas

After hearing my flight was cancelled on Friday, and waiting for an hour and a half in a line to reschedule a flight, I started to feel a little dejected. There were some very nice people in line that made the time go by faster as we each shared our story. The girl behind me missed her connecting flight and her luggage was left in Arizona as they were told they could either take people or luggage. I quickly realized how fortunate I was to at least know where my bags were. I was relieved when I was given a flight the next morning. They told me they could release my bags to me so I could have a change of clothes. After waiting several hours to get my luggage I gave up and went to the hotel with my little toiletry bag from the airline. There were three Elders from my church that were on my original flight on their way home after their two year mission. I felt bad for them and their families having to wait one more day to see each other. My flight the next day was an hour and a half delayed which started to increase my anxiety. When they started boarding us I was in tears out of pure relief and happiness. I was so thankful to know that I would get home in time to spend Christmas with my family.

Tonight we had most the family together (we missed the Bostonians). We watched a video about the birth of the Savior and sang Christmas carols. I had the overwhelming feeling of gratitude to be a part of a loving family, sharing our love for Jesus Christ. We all laughed at my niece that is terrified of Santa. Any mention of his name brought her to tears while her parents reassured her that Santa would not come to their house. If this keeps up their holiday leverage will be "if you're naughty Santa is going to come." She's two so she may outgrow her Santaphobia. The kids will likely be hopped on sugar and excitement tomorrow so there will be more tears to come but that's what makes family gatherings so entertaining.

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas day. Thank you for the friendship and readership over the past year.

nice name

On Monday I opened my inbox to see that I had written myself an email. I thought it was strange because I didn't remember sending an email entitled "this is random." Thinking it was spam, I was about to delete it when curiosity got the best of me. I opened it up to discover that my name twin had googled herself and came across an old post of mine. Now, if my name was something common like Jenn Smith I might not find this so odd. Although my last name is fairly common, I have yet to meet another Aislinn. In our several emails we have discovered that we were born in the same year but that her name is pronounced phonetically while mine is the Gaelic pronunciation (Ashlyn). A very random but amusing experience.

my new friend

That's right. CLR is my new favourite bathroom cleaner. After burning my lungs several times using Lysol Bathroom Cleaner with Bleach, I decided to try something different. My former roommate left the glass shower doors with terrible watermarks and a dingy ring around the tub. I first bought the wretched Lysol cleaner as it professed to rid my bathroom of mildew and other stains. It helped a little but my health would quickly deteriorate after its use. I remembered the CLR ads of my youth, stating it was sold in fine establishments such as Canadian Tire, K-Mart, etc etc. The commercials showed it dissolving tough coffee stains and working miracles on hard water residue. On Saturday I experienced its amazing power. I could finally see through the glass, my sinks were sparkling and I didn't have four hours of pain and smoker's cough. This new bond is going to be tough to break. I still wish I could pay someone to clean my bathroom but until then, this $4 gem is my newest ticket to happiness.

oops

I went out my garage for my run on Saturday. Afterward I was stretching on my lawn when I noticed this:


Apparently my roommate got home at 3 a.m. the night before and must have been really exhausted, as the keys sat in that place for the next seven hours. It sure was fun to tease her.

dating s.o.s

I found this charming street sign while my sister and I were lost in San Francisco. If only life was full of S.O.S's for those in need of help, such as the sad chap in the following story. I find this amusing because I was not the person on the receiving end, although I dearly love the poor lass that was.

It all started Wednesday night when she received a call from a gentleman at her church. She did not answer the phone as it was an unidentified number. After listening to the message we were impressed that he called several days before the date, left her a compliment and had it all planned out. Several ingredients for a good time. The first warning sign was an anxious text the next day asking if she had received the message. This was brushed off as perhaps a little overeager. Friday was when the storm hit. This was not some regular ocean storm, it was a full on tsunami.

The first indication that the clouds had started to darken was when he stated to her "I've been wanting to ask you out for weeks because you're so damn sexy but I was never able to because you were out of church like lightning every time." Rain poured down with phrases such as "You are so sexy, do you know how sexy you are?", "I am with, by far, the prettiest girl here", "I LOVE the way you dress, it's so hot", " You have a rockin stomach and your body is perfect." While this is all true, I would like to restate that this was a first date with only a very brief conversation prior to the big event.

She was being engulfed with large waves with more and more questions, namely: So how is your romantic/dating life? How do you handle being so sexy? When did you last have a romantic encounter? So what was your first impression of me?

And then the tsunami hit. To quote her "He kept touching me ... we went to a concert... it was a sit down event... he quickly had his arm around me and tickled/scratched my back... I sat in a balled up position most of the show. Then also at dinner... arm around... and then the comments... "I'm sorry I keep touching you, I just can't help myself, you're so hot." Fast forward to the door scene... he had already pecked me on the cheek randomly when I was standing up at some point in the night... I was a little worried at the door as he had admitted earlier "I don't usually go more then three weeks without kissing a girl, although I've only once ever had a 'hookup.' So he walked me to the door, and I was carrying my bag and leftovers, so I went to give him an awkward hug, and his face came in... so mine went out, to the outside of his arm... and then quickly turned around and went in."

The storm was over but there were residual waves afterward. Several texts about how gorgeous and sexy she was with hopes of a second date. Although you would think it was my friend that needed the life raft on the date, it was this sad sack of a man that needed the help. Not only is it unattractive to be called sexy and to have unsolicited touching on a first date, it's actually offensive. So for those of you creating such storms, please keep them in the middle of the ocean where no one is impacted by your destructive sexual frustrations.

directions smcherections

Last week I got home from spin class, showered, got ready for work and took my multivitamin. I was almost out the door when I was sidelined by nausea. After expelling all my stomach contents (Powerade and vitamins) into the toilet I felt much better. I ate oatmeal in the car and headed to work. I attributed the sickness to my spin class but yesterday I took my vitamin again while getting ready. I started to feel ill and quickly stuffed my face with a fruit bar, hopeful it wouldn't end up in the loo. I went over to my cupboard and read the label "take one pill with food." I've never thought medication or vitamin directions were really necessary but now I'm starting to rethink that. The most twisted aspect to this is that I am tempted to take the vitamin again on an empty stomach just to see if it really is inducing nausea. It's like when I touch a bruise over and over again because maybe the 10th time I touch it the pain will go away. Am I alone here?

crashing a holiday

I explained to many friends, acquaintances and students that Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October and yet I still took two days off to sneak one more turkey dinner in before Christmas. The hospitable folks in Vernal offered their home and food yet again. It was a fabulous meal and great company. Unlike a Kelly gathering, the holiday dinner went off without any drama. If only Mike had remembered the potatoes our October feast may have run a little smoother!

Rather than watching horse surgery, we rode them instead. By we, I mean just Kris and I. We had expected the more experienced horse riders to be our guides but they trusted us or trusted that our chances for death were slim. The worst would likely be serious injury. We did just fine and came home to watch BYU take the game away from the U at the very last second. Only two explanations can answer why they won the game. It was either due to me wearing my Y sweater or divine intervention from God. I think it was the sweater. A little more secular action was in store when we headed in to town for the evening entertainment. I was too cold to get out of the car to capture a picture of the six float Christmas parade with Santa and Mrs. Claus as the piece de resistance. I was disappointed that the high school marching band did not make an appearance as the two Vernalites that stayed home were parade band alumni.

Dinner for the evening was toasties which is a sandwich cooked in a fire using one of these. (I had no clue how to search for these but my mad google skills led me to the link). I managed to make mine perfect but struggled when making one for Kris. I forget the second slice of bread which was only discovered after it came out of the fire. I almost repeated the mistake on the redo until a kind soul took pity on me and pointed to the lonesome piece of bread waiting to be included. Another kind soul offered me this diagram after the almost twice repeated fiasco. I managed to do several other foolish things over the course of the weekend that will provide endless teasing on par with my human milk statement on my very first Vernal appearance. Hey, I'm willing to entertain in any form.

Although I'm not American, I'm still willing to give a little thanks. And this year, I'm thankful for good friends, loving family, and laughter.

you take the good, you take the bad

Here's the facts of my life over the last week:

Exhibit A:


San Francisco with my sister was a delight. The car we had to drive was not. While I realize that some may actually like PT Cruisers, and like my co-worker, actually request one to rent, my sister and I were mortified. Not only are they hideous, but they are also the most functionally stupid car I've been in.

Exhibit B:


Seeing Bishop Allen on Thursday night, in Provo of all places, was superb. It felt so good to see a live show while I sang and danced my cares away. The downside was a short set as they did not headline the show. The girl is no longer in the band which was a downer on Busted Heart.

As Bishop Allen says "things are what you make of them" and I guess I'll take the bad because it can also come with a lot of good. We'll see what I make of my blog. I have been contemplating a hiatus for various reasons. Thank you to those that keep on coming back even with dwindling posts. I plan to get off the fence soon.

these are the days

Have you ever had one of those days?

You know the kind... the power goes out at 7:30 a.m. right in the middle of getting ready for work. Mascara is applied in the dark and your hair has to be pulled back to try and pull off a semi-professional look. Realizing that the garage will not open automatically due to the electricity outage, you yank it open with all your force. Then your day worsens when the co-worker problem is only exacerbated by terrible mishandling of a third party and for fear of getting dooced you choose not to write any specifics on your blog. You come home feeling tired and hungry. You decide that it is finally time to cook a proper meal. However, you cupboard lacks enough ingredients to make anything substantial. While deciding what to do with the situation you purchase some music online that is sure to make you cry so you hold off on actually listening to it. The decision is made to cook so it is off to the grocery store. You think your luck is shifting when you hop in to the shortest line... until you realize that the two customers in front of you have food stamps. You end up waiting longer than any other line. You come home and decide that tonight would be a good night to christen your Pampered Chef food chopper thingy. You manage to use it improperly and watch helplessly as green peppers fly all over the kitchen. Despite the warning of sharp blades, you cut your finger pretty nicely on them during clean up. You would rather just vegetate in front of the television but you have nagging feelings of guilt for neglecting your blog. Rather than wait until you might be able to pull of a mildly entertaining post, you indulge yourself and write about the crap of a day you had.

If you have ever had a day like that, I can empathize.

ridiculously useless information on ears

I have recently been fascinated with the huge variety of ears out there. I realize that ears are just as unique as any other body part, like hands, eyes and noses but I haven't spent much time examining them. My study of the ear grew out of an uncomfortable work experience, namely "unsolicited flirting by a co-worker." When another co-worker asked why I didn't reciprocate, my response was that his ears were too small for any conceivable attraction on my part. Ears are not something I typically notice but his seemed abnormally tiny. At church this past Sunday my eyes feasted on the enormous variety of ears. Things I learned:
1. Girls can also have exceptionally small ears.
2. Some ears are very large.
3. Some ears protrude to an uncomfortable level
4. Lobes can come in all sorts of shapes. There are those folks with creases or misshapened lobes. Some lobes attach right to the head. (Apparently attached earlobes are a recessive trait... things learned on google image search).
5. Hair on ears are often blonde.
6. The more you look at ears, the more ugly they become

happy halloween

spam, spam, bacon and spam

Over the last two weeks the most action my Gmail account has seen is spam. Each day I receive several variations of the word Viagra. Some days it's Viapra or Vdarga or Vigria. The combinations never stop nor does the spam. I'm not quite sure how I got the spam or when it will stop. It even started going to my work email which has become quite a nuisance. It's driving me crazy.

To see someone else who HATES spam, click on the link in the title. Blessed Monty Python. As a side note, one year my siblings and I listened to the Final Rip repeatedly on a family holiday. I think I had each sketch memorized and my parents likely had to take multiple meds to keep from going insane. We also listened to some other comedy tape that my brother had. All I remember is a song that said "boot to the head, na na... boot to the head na na... boot to the head, na na. BOOT TO THE HEAD." If anyone knows that reference I'd like to look it up.

an honest mistake

I was loading my groceries in to my car when I noticed I had forgotten the laundry detergent that was on the bottom of my cart. I had a momentary thought of driving off with free ALL but my lil' angel spoke louder than my lil' devil so I drudged back in to Target to pay up. I was standing in line feeling utterly exhausted from my day when I noticed the woman in front of me had a twelve pack of Mountain Dew at the bottom of her cart. She paid her $34 bill all in one dollar bills which gave me ample time to ask her if she had forgotten the Dew. Although a very interesting self commentary was going off in my head, I had no mental energy or desire to speak audibly to her. As I was driving off I noticed her walking back in to Target with the pop in hand. I felt slightly guilty for speaking up in the store but was also mildly amused that we had a twin experience. Both space cadets and both honest. If you're feeling devious there's a good chance you can make off with free goodies at Target by using the bottom of your cart.

fabulous fall

Reasons to love all the Seasons (but mostly fall).

1. Gorgeous sunsets


2. Hikes to capture the views


3. Leaves, leaves and Jo


4. Walks in the brisk air


Breathe in deep and smile...

la la la love

I've always pondered how one gets to the point that they really know that the person they are with is the person they want to marry. I have had thoughts of marriage in prior relationships but it was always coupled with an equal or greater amount of doubt. People can explain the process but it cannot be fully comprehended until you are experiencing it yourself. No amount of studying or training can give you the vicarious feeling. I suppose this topic has been on my mind recently due to three wedding invites, as well as a good friend calling me this week to tell me he was engaged. What I found fascinating about our discussion was how ecstatic he was. I usually hear this from my girlfriends but it was a first to hear it from a guy friend. Their dating was easy, the decision was a no-brainer and he was excited... which got me excited. He still did not know how it all happened but that it did happen. (He didn't help much in the department of "figuring out how one takes the next step" but he's in love so he gets a pass.)

I know that people go in to marriage with all sorts of dating experiences. Some of the happiest marriages had rocky dating moments and some of the happiest dating led to a less than thrilling marriage. I heard the latter scenario many times when I did marital counseling. However, listening to my friend and seeing him when I was home made me hopeful for a future dating experience like his. It would seem much easier to enter marriage fully enamored and with a solid knowing. I'm done with wishy washy and conflicted feelings from the other. I want a man that knows what he wants... which is me. (If any of you have found this man, please have him contact me directly. Ha!) I find the thought of marriage frightening enough, so the last thing I want to do is spend months on end dating someone who is constantly unsure. Perhaps I'm unrealistic but while I'm still single I'm going to dream for my ideal.

So B, if you're reading this, congratulations and thanks for reminding me that it feels so good to feel mushy. It's easy to dream of adoration when the leaves are beautiful and the air is crisp. I hope to post some pictures soon that show why I love this season so much.

teaching moments at work

I'm all for lessons, and 15 minutes ago I learned my lesson on why you don't mess with candle wax at work. I have a candle warmer and there was a wax bubble developing in my candle. I have pushed the bubbles down before, as it allows me a better view of the melting wax. (It's my form of relaxation during my stressful days). Today was just another ordinary, bubble pushing down day UNTIL wax sprayed everywhere. Wax is on my desk, keyboard, paperwork, skirt, shirt and hair. No amount of washing or scraping will get the remnants off. So, I'm down to my undershirt and jacket as my blouse was the worst hit. What can I say... I'm a class act.

ungrateful

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada but since I'm not there, I thought I would post on what I am NOT thankful for.

1. My broken gas gauge. Loosing all power on the freeway was a bit of a scare but wasting three hours to get the problem sorted out was worse. At first it was thought that my fuel pump would need to be replaced but luckily it didn't. The silver lining was that my bill was cut down by at least 70% from the first estimate.
2. A bird perched on a woman's shoulder in public. It's nasty enough to dodge bird poop from the wild ones, but seeing a stream of bird crap on a woman's back because she is foolish/crazy enough to carry it about with her is grotesque. My sister and I have brain scars but no other permanent record as it was near impossible to take a discreet picture.
3. Cellular phone charges. I have had my current plan for almost a year and never come close to maxing out my minutes. Let me tell you that 40 cents for each additional minute over your plan adds up pretty damn fast. Thank you T-Mobile for not helping in the least bit about the situation. I'll be sure to switch to a more fair plan/company when my contract is up at the end of October.
4. Pull out hotel beds. I'm not sure who can sleep soundly when each roll creates a new pain from the metal bars digging in to every last inch of fat, bone and skin on your body. However, body aches are worth the sacrifice in order to spend several days with two adorable nieces.
5. Stinky feet. One of those previously mentioned adorable nieces has a new pair of shoes that leaves a not so adorable odour. Thankfully socks and soap can remedy the problem.

brief hiatus

I won't be blogging for a bit, as I will be on a journey to my home and native land. The time has come for me to renew my work visa and come Tuesday, I'll find out if I have been granted another year to work in the USA.

Something to ponder in my absence is ATM's in churches. Yesterday NPR reported that pastors etc have decided that since most people just carry cards, ATM's will make donations easier for their congregation. The idea is mildly offensive to me, although there is nothing to say it's wrong. I believe that if someone is really committed to the continuation of their church they will make an effort to remember their cheque book or bring some cash. What's next? Credit card machines in the pews? One easy swipe and your conscience is clean for another week.

Best song of the week: Your Ex-Lover is Dead by the Stars. The vocals and cello are beautiful.