directions smcherections

Last week I got home from spin class, showered, got ready for work and took my multivitamin. I was almost out the door when I was sidelined by nausea. After expelling all my stomach contents (Powerade and vitamins) into the toilet I felt much better. I ate oatmeal in the car and headed to work. I attributed the sickness to my spin class but yesterday I took my vitamin again while getting ready. I started to feel ill and quickly stuffed my face with a fruit bar, hopeful it wouldn't end up in the loo. I went over to my cupboard and read the label "take one pill with food." I've never thought medication or vitamin directions were really necessary but now I'm starting to rethink that. The most twisted aspect to this is that I am tempted to take the vitamin again on an empty stomach just to see if it really is inducing nausea. It's like when I touch a bruise over and over again because maybe the 10th time I touch it the pain will go away. Am I alone here?

crashing a holiday

I explained to many friends, acquaintances and students that Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October and yet I still took two days off to sneak one more turkey dinner in before Christmas. The hospitable folks in Vernal offered their home and food yet again. It was a fabulous meal and great company. Unlike a Kelly gathering, the holiday dinner went off without any drama. If only Mike had remembered the potatoes our October feast may have run a little smoother!

Rather than watching horse surgery, we rode them instead. By we, I mean just Kris and I. We had expected the more experienced horse riders to be our guides but they trusted us or trusted that our chances for death were slim. The worst would likely be serious injury. We did just fine and came home to watch BYU take the game away from the U at the very last second. Only two explanations can answer why they won the game. It was either due to me wearing my Y sweater or divine intervention from God. I think it was the sweater. A little more secular action was in store when we headed in to town for the evening entertainment. I was too cold to get out of the car to capture a picture of the six float Christmas parade with Santa and Mrs. Claus as the piece de resistance. I was disappointed that the high school marching band did not make an appearance as the two Vernalites that stayed home were parade band alumni.

Dinner for the evening was toasties which is a sandwich cooked in a fire using one of these. (I had no clue how to search for these but my mad google skills led me to the link). I managed to make mine perfect but struggled when making one for Kris. I forget the second slice of bread which was only discovered after it came out of the fire. I almost repeated the mistake on the redo until a kind soul took pity on me and pointed to the lonesome piece of bread waiting to be included. Another kind soul offered me this diagram after the almost twice repeated fiasco. I managed to do several other foolish things over the course of the weekend that will provide endless teasing on par with my human milk statement on my very first Vernal appearance. Hey, I'm willing to entertain in any form.

Although I'm not American, I'm still willing to give a little thanks. And this year, I'm thankful for good friends, loving family, and laughter.

you take the good, you take the bad

Here's the facts of my life over the last week:

Exhibit A:


San Francisco with my sister was a delight. The car we had to drive was not. While I realize that some may actually like PT Cruisers, and like my co-worker, actually request one to rent, my sister and I were mortified. Not only are they hideous, but they are also the most functionally stupid car I've been in.

Exhibit B:


Seeing Bishop Allen on Thursday night, in Provo of all places, was superb. It felt so good to see a live show while I sang and danced my cares away. The downside was a short set as they did not headline the show. The girl is no longer in the band which was a downer on Busted Heart.

As Bishop Allen says "things are what you make of them" and I guess I'll take the bad because it can also come with a lot of good. We'll see what I make of my blog. I have been contemplating a hiatus for various reasons. Thank you to those that keep on coming back even with dwindling posts. I plan to get off the fence soon.

these are the days

Have you ever had one of those days?

You know the kind... the power goes out at 7:30 a.m. right in the middle of getting ready for work. Mascara is applied in the dark and your hair has to be pulled back to try and pull off a semi-professional look. Realizing that the garage will not open automatically due to the electricity outage, you yank it open with all your force. Then your day worsens when the co-worker problem is only exacerbated by terrible mishandling of a third party and for fear of getting dooced you choose not to write any specifics on your blog. You come home feeling tired and hungry. You decide that it is finally time to cook a proper meal. However, you cupboard lacks enough ingredients to make anything substantial. While deciding what to do with the situation you purchase some music online that is sure to make you cry so you hold off on actually listening to it. The decision is made to cook so it is off to the grocery store. You think your luck is shifting when you hop in to the shortest line... until you realize that the two customers in front of you have food stamps. You end up waiting longer than any other line. You come home and decide that tonight would be a good night to christen your Pampered Chef food chopper thingy. You manage to use it improperly and watch helplessly as green peppers fly all over the kitchen. Despite the warning of sharp blades, you cut your finger pretty nicely on them during clean up. You would rather just vegetate in front of the television but you have nagging feelings of guilt for neglecting your blog. Rather than wait until you might be able to pull of a mildly entertaining post, you indulge yourself and write about the crap of a day you had.

If you have ever had a day like that, I can empathize.

ridiculously useless information on ears

I have recently been fascinated with the huge variety of ears out there. I realize that ears are just as unique as any other body part, like hands, eyes and noses but I haven't spent much time examining them. My study of the ear grew out of an uncomfortable work experience, namely "unsolicited flirting by a co-worker." When another co-worker asked why I didn't reciprocate, my response was that his ears were too small for any conceivable attraction on my part. Ears are not something I typically notice but his seemed abnormally tiny. At church this past Sunday my eyes feasted on the enormous variety of ears. Things I learned:
1. Girls can also have exceptionally small ears.
2. Some ears are very large.
3. Some ears protrude to an uncomfortable level
4. Lobes can come in all sorts of shapes. There are those folks with creases or misshapened lobes. Some lobes attach right to the head. (Apparently attached earlobes are a recessive trait... things learned on google image search).
5. Hair on ears are often blonde.
6. The more you look at ears, the more ugly they become

happy halloween

spam, spam, bacon and spam

Over the last two weeks the most action my Gmail account has seen is spam. Each day I receive several variations of the word Viagra. Some days it's Viapra or Vdarga or Vigria. The combinations never stop nor does the spam. I'm not quite sure how I got the spam or when it will stop. It even started going to my work email which has become quite a nuisance. It's driving me crazy.

To see someone else who HATES spam, click on the link in the title. Blessed Monty Python. As a side note, one year my siblings and I listened to the Final Rip repeatedly on a family holiday. I think I had each sketch memorized and my parents likely had to take multiple meds to keep from going insane. We also listened to some other comedy tape that my brother had. All I remember is a song that said "boot to the head, na na... boot to the head na na... boot to the head, na na. BOOT TO THE HEAD." If anyone knows that reference I'd like to look it up.

an honest mistake

I was loading my groceries in to my car when I noticed I had forgotten the laundry detergent that was on the bottom of my cart. I had a momentary thought of driving off with free ALL but my lil' angel spoke louder than my lil' devil so I drudged back in to Target to pay up. I was standing in line feeling utterly exhausted from my day when I noticed the woman in front of me had a twelve pack of Mountain Dew at the bottom of her cart. She paid her $34 bill all in one dollar bills which gave me ample time to ask her if she had forgotten the Dew. Although a very interesting self commentary was going off in my head, I had no mental energy or desire to speak audibly to her. As I was driving off I noticed her walking back in to Target with the pop in hand. I felt slightly guilty for speaking up in the store but was also mildly amused that we had a twin experience. Both space cadets and both honest. If you're feeling devious there's a good chance you can make off with free goodies at Target by using the bottom of your cart.

fabulous fall

Reasons to love all the Seasons (but mostly fall).

1. Gorgeous sunsets


2. Hikes to capture the views


3. Leaves, leaves and Jo


4. Walks in the brisk air


Breathe in deep and smile...

la la la love

I've always pondered how one gets to the point that they really know that the person they are with is the person they want to marry. I have had thoughts of marriage in prior relationships but it was always coupled with an equal or greater amount of doubt. People can explain the process but it cannot be fully comprehended until you are experiencing it yourself. No amount of studying or training can give you the vicarious feeling. I suppose this topic has been on my mind recently due to three wedding invites, as well as a good friend calling me this week to tell me he was engaged. What I found fascinating about our discussion was how ecstatic he was. I usually hear this from my girlfriends but it was a first to hear it from a guy friend. Their dating was easy, the decision was a no-brainer and he was excited... which got me excited. He still did not know how it all happened but that it did happen. (He didn't help much in the department of "figuring out how one takes the next step" but he's in love so he gets a pass.)

I know that people go in to marriage with all sorts of dating experiences. Some of the happiest marriages had rocky dating moments and some of the happiest dating led to a less than thrilling marriage. I heard the latter scenario many times when I did marital counseling. However, listening to my friend and seeing him when I was home made me hopeful for a future dating experience like his. It would seem much easier to enter marriage fully enamored and with a solid knowing. I'm done with wishy washy and conflicted feelings from the other. I want a man that knows what he wants... which is me. (If any of you have found this man, please have him contact me directly. Ha!) I find the thought of marriage frightening enough, so the last thing I want to do is spend months on end dating someone who is constantly unsure. Perhaps I'm unrealistic but while I'm still single I'm going to dream for my ideal.

So B, if you're reading this, congratulations and thanks for reminding me that it feels so good to feel mushy. It's easy to dream of adoration when the leaves are beautiful and the air is crisp. I hope to post some pictures soon that show why I love this season so much.

teaching moments at work

I'm all for lessons, and 15 minutes ago I learned my lesson on why you don't mess with candle wax at work. I have a candle warmer and there was a wax bubble developing in my candle. I have pushed the bubbles down before, as it allows me a better view of the melting wax. (It's my form of relaxation during my stressful days). Today was just another ordinary, bubble pushing down day UNTIL wax sprayed everywhere. Wax is on my desk, keyboard, paperwork, skirt, shirt and hair. No amount of washing or scraping will get the remnants off. So, I'm down to my undershirt and jacket as my blouse was the worst hit. What can I say... I'm a class act.

ungrateful

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada but since I'm not there, I thought I would post on what I am NOT thankful for.

1. My broken gas gauge. Loosing all power on the freeway was a bit of a scare but wasting three hours to get the problem sorted out was worse. At first it was thought that my fuel pump would need to be replaced but luckily it didn't. The silver lining was that my bill was cut down by at least 70% from the first estimate.
2. A bird perched on a woman's shoulder in public. It's nasty enough to dodge bird poop from the wild ones, but seeing a stream of bird crap on a woman's back because she is foolish/crazy enough to carry it about with her is grotesque. My sister and I have brain scars but no other permanent record as it was near impossible to take a discreet picture.
3. Cellular phone charges. I have had my current plan for almost a year and never come close to maxing out my minutes. Let me tell you that 40 cents for each additional minute over your plan adds up pretty damn fast. Thank you T-Mobile for not helping in the least bit about the situation. I'll be sure to switch to a more fair plan/company when my contract is up at the end of October.
4. Pull out hotel beds. I'm not sure who can sleep soundly when each roll creates a new pain from the metal bars digging in to every last inch of fat, bone and skin on your body. However, body aches are worth the sacrifice in order to spend several days with two adorable nieces.
5. Stinky feet. One of those previously mentioned adorable nieces has a new pair of shoes that leaves a not so adorable odour. Thankfully socks and soap can remedy the problem.

brief hiatus

I won't be blogging for a bit, as I will be on a journey to my home and native land. The time has come for me to renew my work visa and come Tuesday, I'll find out if I have been granted another year to work in the USA.

Something to ponder in my absence is ATM's in churches. Yesterday NPR reported that pastors etc have decided that since most people just carry cards, ATM's will make donations easier for their congregation. The idea is mildly offensive to me, although there is nothing to say it's wrong. I believe that if someone is really committed to the continuation of their church they will make an effort to remember their cheque book or bring some cash. What's next? Credit card machines in the pews? One easy swipe and your conscience is clean for another week.

Best song of the week: Your Ex-Lover is Dead by the Stars. The vocals and cello are beautiful.

shop till you drop

Want to change your hairstyle without cutting your hair? Do you have unexpected thinning of your hair? Well, look no further as Toni Bratten has teamed up with the Home Shopping Network to sell you this. I stumbled across these gems while flipping channels on my t.v. Unfortunately I can't remember how to block channels so QVC and HSN get several seconds of my time when I'm trying to find something to watch. Sometimes I stop for several minutes, fascinated at the junk that is being hawked. On top of that, the announcers are irritating, the guests are silly and the models look stiff. I enjoy the bright lights on the fake jewels that make them shimmer as though it's a solar eclipse. However, the part I find most interesting is watching the sale counter go up and up on the side of the screen. Several hundred people will drop a good chunk of change on something this awful. In what part of the country is this worth 200 bucks? If you want something this ugly, go to your local dollar store and pick it up for pocket change. Seriously, who buys this crap?

dominoes

When I was younger, I thought that the only thing you did with dominoes was something like the video below. Granted I never had the patience or talent that this guy has. It's unfortunate that the lighting made it difficult to see all of it. However, it's still amazing.

keeping tabs

Injury count for the week: Two (or three if counting bruised ego)

1) Bruised and cut knuckle from glass shower door slamming it at full speed.
Curse words emitted: Three out loud, multiple inside head

2) Cut from a serrated knife on fleshy part of thumb.
Curse words emitted: Partial word that was not completely uttered due to mix company.

Goal for next week: Zero

do you remember the time?

I remember when I was a kid the feverish excitement of an upcoming birthday. The party would be planned, invitations given out, cakes chosen and a list of desired items. This year I practically forgot my birthday. My supervisor made an announcement in group supervision last week that two of the therapists had birthdays coming up and I had a brief wondering who they were. Thankfully my mouth didn't get ahead of my mind as I silently realized I was one of the lucky fools.

I entered my birthday weekend like any other. Since my birthday fell on a Sunday, I chose Saturday to be my token celebration. With much "excitement" I got up early to do some cardio and then yoga (ahem David). As I entered the garage, I discovered that my car also wanted to cash in on birthday gifts. Rather than politely asking for something, it passively aggressively made it clear by getting a flat tire. My workout was out the window and I headed off to Costco with my spare tire proving its worth. Several hundred dollars later my car got two sweet tires and drove happily away. Mother nature was the party pooper and showered rain/hail/snow so anything outdoor was out... such as hiking or the Indian festival at the Krishna temple. I thought I deserved to get myself a gift so I returned to Costco to buy myself a digital camera. In August I purchased myself a gift in Chicago but the realization that it was over a month ago gave me permission to call that a souvenir rather than a birthday present. Please note that my camera beautifully captures my purse that I designed myself. Well, I chose the fabrics which was so much fun.


Saturday ended with some good Thai food and an all-girl slumber party (that ended before midnight because we're "past our prime.") My friends got me some great gifts... a certificate to REI, an exercise ball and a painted picture from my uber-talented artsy friend. Also my family sang numerous versions of happy birthday, gave cookies, cash and a book. My birthday was like most other days except that I got to hear from close family and friends all in one day. The difference today is that I have to make a mental note that I am now 29. I don't miss the excitement of birthdays of yesteryear. I like the laid back style and the happiness I feel from the all the calls and cards. Thank you to those of you that made my day feel a little more special.

words, words, words

My friend finds one of my common phrases amusing. It's "good job" with something else... like "good job that board didn't hit you in the head." I never thought twice about it until she would laugh and mimic me. Recently when I was visiting my parents I heard my mom say "good job blah blah blah" and I realized it was either a family phrase or something that Canadians say.

I've noticed that people's word usage can either be endearing or aggravating. My tolerance is often dependent on my level of like or disdain. For instance, one of my less favourite co-worker's has a habit of using "deserve" in strange ways. She was talking with one of my clients and kept saying that he deserved to work towards attending an NA group. It seemed off to me, on top of her saying the word a half dozen times in five minutes. Then today I overheard her talking to another co-worker about applying for a part-time job. She said "I deserve to at least drop of an application." Say what? I'm beginning to question myself if it's just me or she is using it wrong. It's a good job that I don't have to be the word police. All I know for sure is that when she does say it, I cringe inside.

So phrases... what ones do you love, hate or are simply confusing?

the problem with forgetting

My friend gets ready for work at the gym pretty much every morning. Recently she was getting ready when a stranger asked to use her deodorant. She was taken off guard and said yes but later was really grossed out by it. I too found it rather odd. That's one of those moments when you suck up the four bucks and go buy yourself some rather than swiping your pit on to a random person's hygienic product. If it was your friend or family, perhaps the communal sharing would be okay.

Friday we did a spin class at a gym closer to work, so I opted to get ready at the gym. I did a mental checklist of what I would need and was quite proud of how quickly I packed. As I got my towel to shower I realized I had forgotten my shower sandals. I was completely skeeved out as I stood in the shower barefoot. Thankfully I have not seen any strange growths on my feet since. Then as I was getting ready I shuddered when I realized that I had not packed one of the most essential pieces to a woman's wardrobe. I put my sweaty grey sports bra back on and was grateful it did not show through my shirt. I was not too happy with the uni-boob look but a bra isn't something I can quickly run in to target to buy. Why couldn't I have just forgot my deodorant???

only the best

I've often wondered about the criteria used for places to claim they are the "best." There is a dive down my street that states it is the best Chinese food in town. There are plenty of great Mexican establishments but Chinese food is not this town's forte. So anything claiming to be the best Chinese food is something to be wary of. I had first thought it was the best merely because it was the only, however I found a half dozen other Chinese restaurants listed in my area. The last time I went to a restaurant that claimed to be the "best" was an Indian place in San Diego. After listening to the same techno song looped over and over, I decided that the food could be incredible (which it wasn't) and I still would have wished I was somewhere else. I asked the server if he found the music annoying but he said he didn't really listen to it anymore. Perhaps that is how workers at Gap et al feel with their repeated CDs. Workers may develop an ability to block it out but as a diner, I found it impossible.

So my little neighbourhood Chinese food may indeed be the "best Chinese food in town" but I'm not going to risk finding out.