it was a trick

On Monday my sister directed me to a website that sold a sash that said "Miss Diagnosed". I thought it was a perfect costume for a therapist working at a treatment centre. I was excited when the website had a bold, flashing sign that said "Order by Monday for guaranteed delivery by Halloween." PERFECT!!! I quickly ordered and waited in excited anticipation. I started feeling antsy when it still hadn't arrived by Thursday. I went back to the website and after a bit of investigation noted that the fine print said "Guaranteed by 7 p.m. on the 31st" What the eff? Fried with their false (misleading) advertising I was determined to find a backup plan. Thursday night I hit up the local fabric store for ribbon and iron-on letters. Then I made a pit stop at the Disney store where I scored a tiara for half price. Wal-mart was still open at 11 where I managed to get some fake eyelashes and fake nails. The only thing I wasn't able to find was a tacky 80s dress. So, I rummaged up an old bridesmaid skirt and VOILA

Here is the result...
If you click on the photo, you can see the fake nails. They had these ugly black tips, with silver flowers.

The staff got a kick out of the outfit but sadly only about half the kids understood the humour. I got home after work to see this sitting on my bed.

SO TYPICAL

Lessons I learned this Halloween:
1. Always read the fine print. I can't even return this stupid thing because returns had to be postmarked by October 16th. So now i have two Miss Diagnosed and spent double the money for the same costume. 
2. Never ever bother with fake nails. I could hardly type at work, texting took an inordinate amount of effort (like watching my mom type), and my skin crawled every time the sound of my nails hit something. Plus taking them off was a painful and long process. 
3. Trying to find an 80s dress is harder than you might think... so start early.
4. Fake eyelashes rock. I think I should wear them all the time because they make my eyes look so pretty!
5. You have to back comb more than you think to get big hair.

So readers, since American elections are just around the corner here is your chance to practice a bit of democracy. Time to rock the vote.

Is it better to go store bought


OR

Homemade

(had to show off my "niece" in her monkey suit)