dating s.o.s

I found this charming street sign while my sister and I were lost in San Francisco. If only life was full of S.O.S's for those in need of help, such as the sad chap in the following story. I find this amusing because I was not the person on the receiving end, although I dearly love the poor lass that was.

It all started Wednesday night when she received a call from a gentleman at her church. She did not answer the phone as it was an unidentified number. After listening to the message we were impressed that he called several days before the date, left her a compliment and had it all planned out. Several ingredients for a good time. The first warning sign was an anxious text the next day asking if she had received the message. This was brushed off as perhaps a little overeager. Friday was when the storm hit. This was not some regular ocean storm, it was a full on tsunami.

The first indication that the clouds had started to darken was when he stated to her "I've been wanting to ask you out for weeks because you're so damn sexy but I was never able to because you were out of church like lightning every time." Rain poured down with phrases such as "You are so sexy, do you know how sexy you are?", "I am with, by far, the prettiest girl here", "I LOVE the way you dress, it's so hot", " You have a rockin stomach and your body is perfect." While this is all true, I would like to restate that this was a first date with only a very brief conversation prior to the big event.

She was being engulfed with large waves with more and more questions, namely: So how is your romantic/dating life? How do you handle being so sexy? When did you last have a romantic encounter? So what was your first impression of me?

And then the tsunami hit. To quote her "He kept touching me ... we went to a concert... it was a sit down event... he quickly had his arm around me and tickled/scratched my back... I sat in a balled up position most of the show. Then also at dinner... arm around... and then the comments... "I'm sorry I keep touching you, I just can't help myself, you're so hot." Fast forward to the door scene... he had already pecked me on the cheek randomly when I was standing up at some point in the night... I was a little worried at the door as he had admitted earlier "I don't usually go more then three weeks without kissing a girl, although I've only once ever had a 'hookup.' So he walked me to the door, and I was carrying my bag and leftovers, so I went to give him an awkward hug, and his face came in... so mine went out, to the outside of his arm... and then quickly turned around and went in."

The storm was over but there were residual waves afterward. Several texts about how gorgeous and sexy she was with hopes of a second date. Although you would think it was my friend that needed the life raft on the date, it was this sad sack of a man that needed the help. Not only is it unattractive to be called sexy and to have unsolicited touching on a first date, it's actually offensive. So for those of you creating such storms, please keep them in the middle of the ocean where no one is impacted by your destructive sexual frustrations.