I've never been the type that was afraid of mice, snakes or insects of any kind. This may be due in part to my brother that is just older than me. When we were kids he would catch garter snakes in the ravine behind us and keep them until they died. We would spend some afternoons pulling the legs of Daddy Long Legs or get paid to eat ants. My brother was a genius. They don't taste like much of anything and you get enough money to buy candy at Macs. It was a much more honorable way to make a quick 50 cents to buy treats, rather than giving your ass-wipe vice principle a compliment so that he would give you a candy. Besides, when you finally reached him at recess and told him you liked his tie, he'd usually be out of candy and you'd have wasted an insincere compliment. As my brother got older, his bedroom turned into a reptilian haven. He had geckos, iguanas, and snakes. He also kept around several mice. Some were for feeding John Wayne (his iguana), others were for his rocket adventures. One particular mouse, Super Dave, managed to live through several rocket launches. Most of the other guys died before their parachute hit the ground. I suppose their heart just couldn't take it.
Out in the natural environment I'm fine with these ugly things but indoors they skeeve me out. We recently killed a mouse in my apartment and I shuddered to think of it running across my carpet. My skin crawled the other day when a centipede creeped near my foot in my work bathroom. I almost had a heart attack when a bat fluttered near my face when I was fast asleep. Who would have thought a bat would fly in to a bedroom on the 19th floor of an apartment smack dab in the middle of a downtown city? That was awful and awfully funny. My mom's response was that the bat was likely more scared than me. I couldn't give a flying fig about the bat's feelings. Now, I like dogs but the other day I saw one gnawing on a dead animal carcass. There was no one around and I imagined Rover wondering back home and licking his master's face after ravaging a dead animal. Sick, sick, sick. Animals belong in context and certain things need to stay inside and others need to stay out.
Christmas in Canada
7 years ago
20 comments:
EXCUSE ME! I was just eating and now I feel slightly ill. Please do not talk about dogs eating animals.
I agree outside creatures staying out. Rodents and creepy crawlies don't belong in my house.
We just got rid of a huge carpenter ant colony in house. We had to run the dishwasher with no dishes in it for awhile to get all the ant guts out before they got all over the dishes. Seriously, they were everywhere, but especially the kitchen. Why can't they eat outdoor, living trees rather than my walls? If they did, they could have lived and I wouIdn't have needed to suffer through hearing their little bodies crunch (one of the worst sounds ever) when I stepped on them.
that is sick sara.
eyun, there was also audie murphey. that iguana died whereas the other was given away.
dani, sorry. this was sick.
i'm very jealous of those pet names.
i've never understood inside animals having grown up in a household where they stayed outside, or in the garage. it actually kind of creeps me out when animals are indoors at all.
as far as animals ravaging dead things outdoors, i think cats are the worst culprits, but they, at least, have the decency to not try and lick your face.
i ate a cricket for $4, one time.
my sister pulled the tail of my gerbil in fourth grade.
and as far as not considering the bat's feelings, i think that makes you a speciesist.
I´m so glad I live in Iceland, I did´t even see a spiderweb util I was 10.
I think nature is trying to reclaim you; a mouse in the house, a centipede at work, a bat in your bedroom, dogs gnawing on carcasses! It sounds like you either need to go camping or that you live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
P.S. My heart is effectively warmed, you added me to your links :)
ryan, i'm totally down with being a speciest on that one.
dagga, do you have any gross insects there?
ansley, i should note that the bat event happend when i was 21. the others though, have been within the last month. i did go camping a mere two weeks ago so maybe mother nature is using me for her cruel jokes. oh, i forgot to mention the gross bug incident while camping. we had a really bad thunderstorm one night, and my friend's jacket got soaked, as the flap had caved in the tent. she was drying it on the car heater while we were driving to our next destination and all the sudden a bunch of slugs started coming out from the velcro. we shrieked, pulled the car over and she started flapping it around like mad while i sat hysterically laughing.
ps- i like your blog, hence the link!
How about that "moonbat" that is always flying by your blog. Does that creep you out?
euuuuu, snakes and iguanas. The king snake was the worst. The one your brother had wrapped around his arm and wrist, which would strike out if you got too close.
How could you forget the rabbits? Especially the vicious one furtively smuggled into the petting zoo and dumped in the rabbit pen. Who knew it was preggers and would have a litter a month later.
And then there was Jiggs, and his next to last resting place. Your family was so weird.
I'd like to know who was behind the "harebrained" (that pun is for you) idea with the bunny. I know there was only three witnesses to the crime... me, brother, dad. I just don't' remember who came up with it. I think Calaway Park was grateful for that heist. I overheard a kid say "look at that cute bunny" a mere 15 minutes after we did the deed.
Ah jiggs. May his little finally cremated body rest in peace. We were strange. I blame the parents ;)
I don't think the vicious bunny was the one smuggled into Calaway Park. The one that was really mean was the albino with glowing red eyes in the dark. That thing freaked me the eff out on a few occassions. Nothing worse than getting up in the middle of the night and seeing glowing red eyes in the middle of the room and not in it's pen. The only thing I recall about the bunny smuggling is that it had ears that pointed straight up, while all the ones at Calaway were floppy ears. Then again, that one was possibly vicious too, it seemed they all were.
I would just like to say for the record that I had no part in any of the reptiles or rabbits or snakes, etc. Didn't know many of these "experiments" even went on. And possibly the only reason Jiggs (already dead) was removed from the freezer was because I refused to house-sit until he was gone. Otherwise, he could still be there now. Ha.
Yeah, I blame it on the parents. They were too easygoing!
rats and cockroaches wig me out. I'm not sure if I grew up in a place where neither exist at least to the point out here, or if its because they should wig me out. But its true. Whenever I think of them I shudder, let alone a sighting. Yes, I've seen both in my office building and at home (luckily at home, we haven't had an extended problem with either).
Two experiences with creepy crawling things. Both, interestingly enough, come from my mission.
The first: palmetto bugs (flying cockroaches). They were everywhere in Flordia and Alabama. Not cool, until you learned that they didn't do a whole lot except look gross.
The second: after our evening prayer, I jumped up onto the top of the bunkbed in our singlewide trailer (the good life). Anyway, I felt like there was something on my bed. I told my missionary companion that there was something in my bed and he told me to quit whining. I told him to turn on the light. Apparently the word "light" is the code word for fire ants to start biting, because that's what I said and that's what they did. A lot. My poor little toes looked like Vienna Sausages. Gross. When the light was turned on, there were enough ants on my bed to cover a completely open section of a newspaper. They all came a-marching in from the back door of the trailer. Little pieces of crap. It wasn't until after that episode that I learned that I don't like killing bugs very much.
and, like Ansley, I feel so neat to be on someone's list of blogs. I have a new one coming up here in the next day or so.
stay tuned.
not really, there are spiders, the biggest are no bigger than a thumnail I hate them with a passion every single one, some beattles and centipedes, some slime snails that are a bit gross. No big ants. I did not see a bee until I was a teenager. Apparently there are cockroaches on the army base(they hitch a ride with furniture from the us) and in one appartment building in Reykjavík but I think that might be an legend.
There are new speces arriving every year with the warming climate though.
I had a friend in Chicago who killed one of the cockroaches that didn't clear out fast enough after the light came on in the kitchen.
What was disgusting was the fact she didn't clean it up right away. To quote her "I like to leave them (the stepped on remains" out overnight to serve as a warning of what happens if they stay out when the lights come on." No middle of the night water refills for me.
um, dani, thanks for outing where jiggs was. i was pleasantly surprised that it got bypassed in the comments.
ruby, rats are sick. i've never seen a cockcroach so can't give an opinion (nor have i seen a live rat). sara, you stayed friends with someone that left dead ones sitting around? ewww.
mike, can't wait for the fourth or is it third installment
I said friend because it was faster, but it was really the sister of one of my sister's best friends. And I only stayed there the one night luckily.
aisy, i'm a speciesist against the dodo, so luckily they're extinct.
Mikey, fire ants are totally not cool ants. In my book they are worse than chiggers.
A funny story: when I was in Arkanasas there was a kid who was a "topper" and challenged my pal Tony to a wrestle. Tony wrangled him to the ground and flat on his back, or "pinned" as they say, in about two seconds and then the kid started screaming bloody murder.
We were like, dude, seriously, peace the eff out. He stood up and his entire back was covered in fire ants. He'd been pinned on a fire ant nest.
Wow. In your bed though, that's bad.
your brother is my hero. had i the resources and imagination to send mice into the stratosphere with a rocket, i would've done it. wow.
super dave. genius.
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